LEDESMABABY

Have you ever thought, “What am I doing with my life?”

It’s okay if you have, you aren’t alone.

I’ve always had this plan, my whole life, I thought I would go to community college for two years, transfer to a four year in California, and get my degree in Kinesiology to become an Athletic Trainer.

Well, I went to community college for a year and didn’t think it was for me so I decided to take a year off. I started working as a nanny and realized I wanted to go back to school. I went back for a couple of years and thought, again, “why am I here?”

I continued to nanny as I was in and out of school, trying to figure out what I really wanted to do in life.

Now, I had an incredible opportunity to work for one of the best state jobs, as long as I was still going to school. A year later and I still have a hard time figuring out what I want to do. Scary.

How am I twenty-three years old and still don’t know what I want to do?

I took a week long vacation to New York City with my family and as I was walking the busy streets of NYC, it hit me. I wanted to move there. New York is a place that I fall in love with more and more each time I visit. It feels like home. I figured, this city is huge, it has so many opportunities, what can’t I do here?

After a couple months of research and reaching out to people I know, this may actually be happening.

Am I scared? Hell yeah. But I’m excited. This is something I won’t ever be able to do again. And what better time than to move to NYC at 23?!

I’ve had so many people ask me, “Why?” “What’s out there?” “Won’t you miss your family?” “How are you going to make it work?” “What if you don’t find a job?” I’ve gotten the “You’ll be lonely,” “Your [new] nephew won’t know you.”

People think they are asking the “right questions,” but all of these questions and little remarks make me feel like I don’t have the support from the people I should have it from. Family.

As more time has passed and I’ve given my reasoning, they have understood more.

But why should I have to have a reason for every choice I make? It’s my life.

It’s okay if you still don’t know what you’re going to do in life yet.

It’s okay if you’re scared because you don’t know what the future looks like.

You will know, in time.

I’ve realized your twenties are so important. It’s a time for you to be selfish and live, truly live and be happy. Explore the world and different cultures. Find YOU. Find out who you are, who you want to be, and once you find that, you will be happy.

Everyone has to find their own path in life. Not everyone is the same. No matter what pressure you feel from anyone, whether it’s from your family, friends, or strangers, you have to do what you think is best for you. Don’t worry about how long it’s taking, as long as you’re moving forward, nothing else matters.

Don’t let anyone get you down. Keep your head up and do you boo.