LEDESMABABY

It’s been a year and you still manage to slither your way into my life. I say “slither” because that’s how it feels. You smooth-talk your way into whatever you want.

You know how to use your charm to make grand gestures. I loved it at first. Who doesn’t love grand gestures?

But I caught on…you only did them when you felt me slipping away from you.

This time was different. In just four months you made me believe this was it. It was going to be you and I. Yet, at the same time you made me feel like I wasn’t enough.

Although your words meant more to me and I had been waiting for that moment and those three words. No matter how many times you told me, you still made me feel like I was nothing.

A backup. A fallback.
Something no woman should ever feel.

I felt guilty and naive because I still played into your games after telling myself not to.

I knew when I felt depressed every day, things needed to change.

It took me a long time (too long) to finally reach a breaking point. But boy was I happy to finally not feel like a huge weight was weighing me down.

I felt free.

I was finally happy again.

Who knew the one thing that once made me feel safe, could cause so much hurt.

It sucked to go through this pain, again, after finally moving on. But I grew from this experience and I know I deserve more and to not be treated that way ever again.

I know for the future when to say goodbye to someone.

I look at you and think to myself, “thank God I stepped away.” But for some f**king reason, a part of me will always love you.

That doesn’t mean I would go back to you. I couldn’t. That trust has been completely broken.